Make Christmas different this year

Before you know it Christmas will have come and gone. Soon everyone will be thinking of their resolution and how 2010 will be different.

Ever wonder how Christmas could be different this year? Well I am going to try something and I invite you to join with me and this experiment. We will look at Christmas in different ways, the book I picked up to help with this is "The 12 Ways of Christmas". So between now and Christmas Eve I will blog about each day. I challenge you to join me and see if we can make this Christmas a little different than the past ones.

Amazingly the first day is Wonder!

When you see children this time of year you cant help but notice that they approach Christmas a little different than us adults. You can see the Wonder that they have in the twinkle in their eyes. Everything from Wondering what Santa will bring them this year, if they made the nice list or not, to wondering how Santa gets to all the homes in just one night? So like a child lets wonder about this season, but instead of Santa lets wonder about Jesus.
Why did Jesus come to earth? What was it like to be Mary or Joesph? How does faith look similar (or different) back then compared to now? How could God love each of us so much that he came to this earth as a child?

So many of us get caught up into the business of Christmas that we never take the time to really enjoy this time of our lives. So spend some time today Wondering!
There were a lot of people that first Christmas who Wondered
Mary wondered how a virgin was going to give birth? Joseph wondered why he and Mary were chosen? Read the following passages to see more wonder...Luke 1:18, 1:34, 2:13-15, 2:19, 2:25-32, 2:33-35, 2:36-38

So now you and I. What would our lives have looked like if we lived 2,000 years ago? What about now? How can Wondering what the season is really about, change us? You'll agree that it isn't about the presents, trees and food. You have heard "The reason for the season". If that is true why do we spend so much time "falling" into what Christmas isn't about?

For this Christmas to be different, you will need to take time today and Wonder like a child about the real reason for the season

Are you an Insane Christian?

It was interesting to see the words "Insane" and "Christian" next to each other.

My favorite definition of insanity is a quote from Albert Einstein..doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different results.

So are you insane? Does today look like yesterday, like last Tuesday or maybe like the Tues after Thanksgiving last year? Most likely your answer is like many of us, yes.

Are you still tired? Job still bother you? Want to find more time to spend with loved ones? Life full of stress? Want to spend more time with an authentic friend? Fell overwhelmed, unimportant or not loved?

How about what is going on around you????
Does injustice still bother you? Relationship issues that maybe you should have had "the conversation"? Need to forgive someone? Need to ask for forgiveness?
Unhappy with your weight? Finances still killing you and controlling your life? Relationship with Christ going well? Spending more time working on your relationship with Him? Praying more, reading the Bible more?

Any of this fell like you? Pick any of the issues above, or add your own, how are you doing? Same as yesterday, last week? Trying to change by doing the same thing? Einstein hit the nail right on the head?

As Christians we are called to live a life of Love. Serving the Lord and loving others as we have been loved. How are you doing there?

Will these next 45 days look the same as last years 45 days after Thanksgiving? Between now and the first full week of January life is just a little different. American consumerism with a side of Santa, presents and hectic business? Then we look back over 2009 and say "That's it, I need to change....2010 will be different!" Will it really be different? Are you going to end the insanity? If so, don't wait until January 1st to start.

Slow down, change your life and don't get pulled into the materialistic society that we live in. Live your life for Christ and love others well! Don't call yourself a Christian if you're alright with being insane. Your life should look different compared to those who don't know Christ!

We impact many people throughout our lives. One study shows that a highly introverted person impacts over 10,000 lives throughout their life time. You are not highly introverted, so how many more than 10,000 will you impact! Better question..."will it be a positive or negative impact?"

You can make a difference. It starts with ending the insanity!

It's Thanksgiving.....let's go to the movies

Let's play a game of what if.....

What if we went to the movies, but this time the theater was filled only with people that you knew. Stand up turn around and look around the theater. See all your friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, people you go to church with and those who live in your community. Everyone came to the movie today to see "your life".

What if everything you have done with your life was recorded, EVERYTHING! Have you ever seen the Truman show? This would be even more than that. Some how the producer recorded all your thoughts, actions feelings, etc. since you were born. It took them a long time, but they now have it all together. That's what is showing at the movie theater today!

So everyone who has ever known you is sitting in this huge theater ready to watch "you life".
Are you nervous?
Your friend who thought you were always positive will now see what you were really thinking as you both interacted and shared life.
Your neighbor, who you smile and wave to, will see you role your eyes as their dog is in your yard again.
Your boss will see all the work that you really don't do.
But I am sure you have done many good things also, but just like all movies...what will people leave remembering about "your life"?

I sat processing yesterday the above about my life and life in general. It would be more than a disaster to have this happen to any of us. You might even have a little anxiety building as you read this, I know I did. I don't think anyone would be winning an Oscar for their performance!

This all came to mind as I was thinking about God's love for us. We cant do anything to earn it nor can we do anything that will take it away. But the movie of "our life" has been known by Him even before we said what we said, thought what we thought or did what we did. Through it all, he doesn't love us any less, not even a little.

So on this day of thanksgiving, I am thankful for many of the same things everyone is thankful for- friends, family, great food, etc. But what comes to mind this year that hasn't in the past is God's Love. All the rest of my life comes out of the Love that He has for me and you.
With all that I am truly blessed and truly thankful.

I hope that you take time today and think about how much God loves you, no matter what you have done or even if you even know who he is.

And for knowing that be truly thankful!

Every smell, sight, experience....Really???

In a recent conversation with someone they explained to me that everything we have experienced (sight, smell, touch, conversation everything!!) is still in our head.

Remember when spring hits, when you walk outside and smell the grass growing and flowers blooming-yep it's in there.
Since that has happened to me every year, they are all there.
Every conversation that I have had with people, yep it's in there.

Kind of hard to imagine it, but the more I think about it...it makes sense to me. Scientist say that we use less than 10% of our brain, not that the other 90% is dormant-but rather not being used.
{Some of my small group guys are probably using closer to 1% but that is for a later post!!}

This 90% is where past memories are along with more space for future ones. So when an amazing 80's song comes on that I haven't hear in 20 years (that hurts to think it has been 20 years!) I can still remember every word, it makes sense!

Why does this matter? Good question!

Who we are today, right now in this moment is a by product of all those past memories. The way we respond to others, the way we love, the way we trust, the way we laugh and find joy.....all of that comes from our experiences. Follow me? If someone you trust keeps breaking that trust you learn not to be so trustworthy. If you are not loved, well you get my point.

So can you change? Can your past experiences be altered or changed enough to impact how you are today? tomorrow?

I know through Christ we are born again, that's not what I am talking about. I also know that through Christ all things are possible. But our memories create and make up who we are today, Christ is the filter that it all flows through.

Does this make sense or am I only using 1% right now?

Out of Control

Control and I go hand in hand.

I was going to state that I "want" to be in control, but realistically I need to be in control.

As I grew up I watched many people around me "set" their lives in motion down a path that I never wanted to follow. Many didn't go about it from the offensive side, but rather responded to what life handed them. This gave them the opportunity to blame life, because that's what was handed to them. I learned that if I wanted to go down a different path, it would cause me to take control of my own life. Now I struggle with turning over that control to the only one who really can command it. I know that I am truly not in control, but the struggle lies in "what is my responsibility and what I need to turn over to God."

Like a carrot dangling on a stick, motivating people to do things, God grabs a hold of my heart and directs me toward something. Very few times I realize what is going on in the moment. Usually I look back and wonder what just took place. When this happens I move yet another step towards God as he shares what breaks his heart. This weekend was one of those that I realized, within the first few minutes of meeting my little friend, that God was doing something.

It felt like we shared life for a months, not a few days.
It has been 24 hours since I said good-bye. Even though I am wanting to help more, I have this terrible feeling that I might not ever see him again. Watching the news is very different now! I use to tune into the weather and sports portions, but now I am listening to the crime and other breaking news. On the map I realize how the two attempts for child abduction was just a few blocks away from his house, wondering who is there to watch him!

My last blog entry stated that I am turning him over to Jesus, and I really am trying to do that. I realize I have no control with this issue and standing here palms up is all I can really do.

I am out of control, but it doesn't mean my heart doesn't break.

I can not even start to imagine how Gods heart breaks when he sees all of his children struggling across the world.

Handed back to Jesus

Have you ever wondered when we see "blue" things we think the color is "Blue"?
Why are the things that we know true? Because someone taught us that truth.
When we were little our parents taught us how to speak, our colors, the ABC's, counting to ten, etc. What if they told us that it was A, B, Z, D, E.... or that the grass was a wonderful orange color and the sky is yellow? Every time we viewed what others call green it would be orange to us or blue to others would be yellow to us.
Follow me?
Life would be different, and what we thought was right would be so wrong. Would life be more of a struggle? How would we interact with others? What would they think? Whose job would it be to help set us straight? What would that look like?

These last couple of days have been very interesting. One of those moments in my life that I'll look back and realize that "life has changed", the start of a different path. What caused that different path is this little innocent child.
*This little guy believes green is orange..........he doesn't know that he is so valuable, that Jesus loves him, that concern for a roof over his head is not his to worry about, or that he should worry about if they will have Medicaid taken away.
*This little guy believes blue is yellow.........he doesn't know how my heart breaks for his, that little things like bathing, brushing his teeth, eating breakfast, being put first in life, being hugged are suppose to happen daily.
*This little guy would be surprised to know that "Z" is out of place the same as ..........sleeping in a car is not normal, visiting your dad in the homeless shelter is not normal, dealing with why someone drinks and drives is not normal, how much money your mother makes is not normal and getting ready in the morning by yourself is not normal.

All I can ask is why????

My heart has been troubled and I haven't slept well these past few nights and I'm sure tonight wont be any different. What goes through my head.......Why did our paths cross? I know God has been a part of this experience-for me, for him, for both? Why? I pray that I do what God wants me to do and not what "I" want to do. So now what?

I hope that while he was with me...
He felt what love is like.
He felt what it was like to be 7 not 25.
He slept, he was secure.
That when he talked, he knew I cared about what he said.
When I hugged him goodnight, he felt the arms of Jesus around him.
That he trusted me.
That he believed in my words.
That others he interacted with really were interested in him.
That he enjoyed life.

I am so helpless with this one. Tomorrow I will hand him back over, and a piece of me will be gone forever.

So Jesus here he is, I hand him back over to you

through eyes that are not mine

What does my life look like through some one's eyes. Do I look like the person that I my heart wants me to be? Do I do strange things? Is what seems to be normal to me, not normal to someone else? Would life be better if we could change the things that are "not normal"? Or would changing the "not normal" take away the parts of life we love?

I watch my friend and from the outside he is very normal. Inside he is more than normal. He is an amazing person who is filled with the love of Christ. His smile and high level of trust welcomes in those around him. He's brilliant, I cant imagine what lies in his future.

What's normal? What is our responsibility when it comes to deciding what is and isn't normal?

You see he cant take care of himself, but he tries to. Sitting next to me I could sense something different to later find out that bathing once a week is normal to him. I asked what his favorite thing is and he can show me cause everything he owns is in one bag. Breakfast? Only when the government gives it out. The list goes on and on.

This isn't normal, but I am lost on what to do.

Our paths have crossed for a reason,

Jesus give me the strength and the wisdom with this one.

Interesting

I know I am not a "blogger", this is obvious based on the fact that my last post was back in April. My goal is still there to make sure I don't go a full year without posting something-so at least that is working for me.

There have been a few things that have taken place over the past few months that made me think "I should blog about that", of course I haven't....until now.

I am amazed how God is in control of our lives. Of course I always think I am in control of it and sometimes get in the way of God. But there are days like today that I am GENTLY reminded who really is in control.

So I wake up early to get my properties mowed to beat the rain, but more importantly I wanted to go to Starbucks and read a little. This might not sound odd, but to those who know me-I never take time and go to Starbucks to read and relax. I use Starbucks as a place to give me more energy to do more crazy things throughout the day....never relax.

So I get the mowing done and get ready to head out.

A few weeks ago Erik (a guy from my small group) got a job at Starbucks, so instead of heading to the 4 that are within 2 miles of my place-I decide to head to his. Of course they decided today to close 116th street off of Keystone, so it took me way longer than I thought it would and actually contemplated going to a different one. But I didn't and headed into the store, ordered my drink and sat down in a comfortable chair. The Management Team at Grace is starting a new book and we need to have a portion of it read by Thursday's meeting-so that's the book I brought along (I will tell you the title later). Sitting there I started to read the introduction, and made it through the first page when Erik came over and started to talk to me. He was done with his shift (which started at 5:00 am) and was about to head out. We talked about a lot of random stuff for about 15 minutes. He went to grab something from the counter when I realized that the lady sitting in the chair next to me was reading a book also. I couldn't see the title of it, but I thought how distracting we probably were and if it was the other way around I probably would have moved already. So I apologized if we were bothering her, of course she said that were weren't. Erik came back to the area and realized we were in a totally different conversation than when he left.

I wasn't really sure how everything got started, all I know is I was head deep in a conversation with a total stranger in need. Within just 10 sentences of asking her if we were bothering her I found out that her father just passed away and she was so confused with life, her Church and the lack of friends around her. I said good-bye to Erik and continued with the conversation. She longed for her Dad to be alive, she lost her mother 9 months ago and her Dad lived with her till he passed. It was an unexpected death, but more than that she was alone. She was an only child whose best friends were Mom and Dad, and now she was alone. She has been going to a church in the area for years, but it was "the Presbyterian thing to do", not that she was really feeling fed there. She really is in tune with the presence of God, and longs to grow that relationship-but she is not being helped or fed by her church. So some how we got talking about Grace, the presence of God, and how we needed to work hard every moment of the day to see how God was working in us and through us. She wants to come to Grace this Saturday and is excited about Church and the possibilities of seeing God working in and through the church to reach not only her but others. There was a lot more but that is the gist of it.

I left Starbucks realizing that I didn't read more than 5-6 paragraphs of my book, but I was fine with that. I was thinking "How did all that just happen"! How do you sit down and go from sorry-to what I described above? Well as I was driving I looked down and noticed that for the first time (since the staff day of service) I was wearing our "Grace Staff" t-shirt. It didn't even cross my mind as I put it on today. Better yet the title of the book that I was reading (or trying to)..... The Attentive Life, Discerning God's Presence in ALL Things! I started to smile and then thanked the Lord for my wonderful Starbucks experience this morning.

Wonderful Weather

So this will be the hardest part of recovery. Now that I am feeling better, having to rest-sit around-not do anything.....that sucks!!

It has been 2 days since I took medicine-which has been great. I did take advantage of this wonderful weather by walking 3 miles on the Monon yesterday and today both. I took my dog Amber with me both days, so she of course is sleeping after a huge workout. She has loved this time that I have been spending at home. She sleeps on the end of the couch all day long and even when I sleep at night. So both of us are spending over 20+ hours each day laying on the couch. She probably is wondering when I will leave and go back to work. She might even be looking forward to it!!

I hope that you all will get a chance to enjoy the weather this weekend

Turning the corner

I wake up today to a few visitors. It did make the morning go by fast, but it was a pleasant change to my normal mornings. I do feel like I am starting to win the battle with my throat and the surgery. I am still in pain, but it is because I am trying to get off of the pain medicine. Each day is getting better, I am hoping to be off some of the hard medicine on Wed-we will see.

Sunday

So my roommate came down at 10:22 am and I woke up. I went to bed around midnight or 1 am, so 9+ hours of sleep all at once-Amazing. Until now only twice have I slept more than 3 hours at a time. So this was great sleep finally. But it did come at a price. I was suppose to have a dose of Vicodine at 4 am and 8 am, so it is completely out of my body for a long time. Also the other pain medicine I was suppose to take a dose at 8 am and I am late on that as well. So getting off of the couch was very painful. I took my medicine and just laid back down working on my breathing and counting the minutes down. I figured it would take 20-30 min to work, about 12 go by and I really notice a difference.

So today has been a good day. Still dealing with the sore throat-but gargling with warm salt water and the throat spray I have has helped with the pain.

I am one day away from going an entire week on a water and Gatorade minus a few sips of a shake and yogurt. So I thought I would try some applesauce. 1 cup down and no hiccups. So that tells me that there is improvement. I am not jumping to a full meal anytime soon, but I am excited to have some more applesauce for dinner tonight!!

I have watched so much TV it has been crazy. Tate, Trey and Caden Medcalfe purchase Lego's Star Wars-which has been SO great to take a break from TV and play the game. It has also helped with the boredom of just sitting here. So thanks again!

Also thanks for all the cards, balloons, flowers, videos (huge thanks Sandy!!)-that have just shown up here at the house.

Until the next update....

Thurs-Sat with ups and downs

Thursday was a great day so that evening I tried something other than water and Gatorade, about 1/2 cup of yogurt.

Then the hiccups came. Let me tell you that I never thought they would hurt as bad as they did. Every 6-8 seconds it was like a knife was being jabbed in my gut. After 6 sets of the hiccups, I finally figured out that it was the yogurt that was getting caught in my throat. So back to Water and Gatorade for now.

Friday was a good day

Saturday, not so good. I woke up at 4 am with a very sore throat. After talking with the Doctor, he finally sent me to St V's Immergent Care (thanks Mrs. Whener for your help!!). I found out that I got a virus (probably from someone at the hospital) which has caused the sore throat. Not only that but I have 3 ulcers in my throat. The good news is no strep, bad news is I have to just deal with the ulcers. So we are praying for the virus to stay where it is and not move to my chest which would cause me to cough.

So enough up and down for now.

It has been a while!!!

I didn't want to hit the one year mark since I wrote anything on the blog! Also I am getting a lot of people asking how I am doing, which I do appreciate-but I thought this would be a little more productive.

I found pictures for those of you who learn more visually.

So on Tues morning at 6:00 am I arrived at the hospital to prepare for the surgery. I have a bad case of GERD (Gastro- Esophageal Reflux Disease) which has been damaging my esophagus. I also have a hiatal hernia which is where your stomach pushes through your diaphragm.








The LES valve is where your esophagus and stomach meet and this value keeps everything in your stomach. Well mine wasn't able to close anymore.




So the surgery was to fix all these things. They cut me in 6 spots in my abdominal area to get this done.






















OK enough of the pictures.

Coming out of surgery wasn't fun. I was holding my breath because of the pain, which caused me to take a deep breath (much worse pain), so one of the nurses was showing me how to breath to help the pain. Finally I go to my room and people start visiting. It was really nice to see friends, even though I was out of it and didn't talk to you too much. Even with my eyes closed I was still listening, so thanks!!

The morphine that they were giving to me wasn't really taking care of the pain. It was amazing when 7:30 came and a new nurse took over. Dayna was VERY nice, her first goal was to get the pain under control, and by 8:00 I finally felt better. I was wondering why this couldn't have been done earlier, but if you met the afternoon nurse you would totally understand why. Not a nice person!!

So Wed was a great day, with my pain managed now I was able to get out of bed and even walk around in the hallways. When the afternoon came by I started to ask what I needed to do to leave that day. I really didn't want to stay. The main reason is my bed filled with air every 5 min to try to avoid bed sores, great invention-but bad if you are trying to sleep.

My mom arrived around 1 today and will be with me the next couple of days to help take care of me. The good news came around 4:30 that I could go home. Wed night was good, what I remember of it. More water and Gatorade, which is all I have had since Monday dinner! But I don't have any appetite what so ever.