Conversation with God

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a conversation with God? I mean a real sit down moment-what would he look like? Would he be a she? What would you do-fall to your knees or give a huge hug? The more I processed this book I realized what the possibility of my conversation would be like. It was also neat that Mack (the main character in the book) met not only God, but also Jesus and Sarayu (the Holy Spirit).


For me this was a wonderful book, not about theology but about a new way to look at how God wants to be in relationship with us. It has revealed to me areas of my own life that I need to take a deeper look at. It's also hitting home because of issues (that plague us all) about wanting to have control of our lives, worrying about tomorrow, wanting it all figured out NOW, thinking that WE know exactly how our lives should be lived out.
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Here is something that Jesus said to Mack after he asked who was in charge out of the three of them.....
"We are in a circle of relationship, not a chain of command or 'great chain of being' like your ancestors termed it. What you are seeing here is relationship without any overlay of power. We don't need power over the other because we are always looking out for the best. Hierarchy would make no sense among us. Actually, this is your problem, not ours."
"Humans are so lost and damaged that to you it is almost incomprehensible that people could work or live together without someone being in charge."
"It's one reason why experiencing true relationship is so difficult for you {or for us humans}. Once you have a hierarchy you need rules to protect and administer it, and then you need law and the enforcement of the rules, and you end up with some kind of chain of command or system of order that destroys relationship rather than promotes it. You rarely see or experience relationship apart from power. Hierarchy imposes laws and rules and you end up missing the wonder of relationship that we intended for you."
"When you choose independence over relationship, you become a danger to each other. Others become objects to be manipulated or managed for your own happiness. Authority, as you usually think of it, is merely the excuse the strong use to make others conform to what they want."
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So we have it all upside down? I mean if you think about your day and how often "relationships" are apart of everything we do-if we have that part all wrong-what does that look like to get that back on track?
Being a strong "D type" leader/person, this really has me looking at what I do with my relationships.
I always try to help people in any way I can, doing things for them-and I do so not wanting any credit for it. But is there a part of what I do a controlling aspect of the relationship that I have with that person? Am I trying to stay in "good standing" with that person? I mean I do help strangers on the side of the road (literally and sometimes that isn't a good thing), but most of helping others are those I know.
I also fill my schedule with spending time doing or being with this person or that person-I want to think my intentions are good-but is this a control thing also?
I would say that I am not a scheming person who is trying to be the leader or controller in a relationship-but I do find myself in the driver seat when it comes to my friends-makes me wonder?
So have I experienced true relationship yet? How about when it comes to God? Am I always trying to be in control of that relationship also? Even when it comes to good things...like... Lord I did my part I prayed today and read my Bible....How come things like this happen to me? I go to church and try to be a good christian, why all this pain? Sounds like control to me!